米迦網誌::Encounter with God :: August

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「老我」小姐

August 23, 2006

圖︰澳門某茶餐室掛的天花板

「老我」小姐，你像是一個打不死的戰鬥者。
不知你從哪個黑暗角落久不久偷偷爬過來
這些年來你的個性沒變過
總喜歡向我咆哮，扣起我的心
不知是誰把你喚醒
只見你喜歡久不久走進我的世界
老實說，你有時真把我弄得發瘋

對你心感複雜
一時則愛，一時則恨
我深知我要離你而去
但你像是忘不了我，久不久就回來，鎖起我的一腳，然後把我摔倒在地上
我討厭你回來
卻有的時候沉醉於你的謊言大海裡

我幾時才可跟你一刀兩斷？
還是，我已與你無干，你回來只是要作出一點點的威脅？

雖然你久不久回來挑戰我
但我慶幸有主耶穌替我於十字架上戰勝了你
不然，我早因為你神經失常了。

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自拍

又來一張自拍。
或許，我已有點自戀狂了…

照片攝於泰國 Phitsanulok。

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black & white & dim & bright

August 22, 2006

The power of black and white and dim and bright.
Photos taken in Phitsanulok, Thailand, August 2006.

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連上

August 21, 2006

圖︰於 Phitsanulok 的一個電燈開關

可跟祢連上電源嗎？
不知道動機正確與否
只知我需要祢

離了祢，生命不能再發光

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Feel bright

August 19, 2006

Photo: fluorescent light on ceiling taken at phitsanulok

At last, I feel fresh and bright again.
Thank you for seeing me as treasurable.

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我的自我形象

August 17, 2006

Play this! Have a check on yourself!
http://www.blogthings.com/howisyourselfesteemquiz/

You Have Low Self Esteem 28% of the Time

Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail.
Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly.

How is Your Self Esteem?

像這個 test 所分析，我久不久都會有些 setback。
玩這個 blog test 讓我重新發現自己的自我形象問題… 我發現通常都是這些問題帶給我情緒的衝擊。

當中一些問題對我來說也幾有反省意義。

我嘗試深入的問自己，答案如下

(Answer key: no - gray; yes - red; improved greatly, but still not fully achieved - purple)

x You tend to avoid trying new things, even if they sound cool.
x You feel like you don’t have anything interesting to say.
x You fear that you will never find true love.
o If you fell on hard times, you’re not sure that anyone would help you out. (有時會這樣想)
o If someone contradicts you, you feel like they don’t like you. (面對有些人會有這種感受)

- You are a perfectionist. If what you do isn’t perfect, then it’s not good enough. (人們說我有時候會這樣)
x Most people you know seem to be living better lives than you.
o You secretly think that if you act like your true self, people will dislike you. (有時候會這樣)
x You often think that life is futile.
x You tend to ignore your problems, hoping they’ll go away.

x You worry that you are being talked about behind your back.
x It’s hard for you to accept yourself the way you are.
o You fear rejection from those you care about. (面對某些人，會有這強烈感受)
x You feel like you often let people down.
x You are easily embarrassed.

- It’s difficult for you to disagree with your friends, even when you feel strongly that you are right. (這個已在進步當中…)
o You’re not sure if you deserve to be loved. (這個很矛盾 — 有時對此肯定，有時不肯定)
x You rarely feel like you did a good job with a task.
- You are very indecisive. (在大進步當中 =D)
x In general, you lack energy, even if you’ve slept well the night before.

o You worry about the way you look. (是呀… 已在進步當中，但仍某程度活在這恐懼中)
x It’s fairly hard for you to make and keep friends.
x You sometimes feel that if you went away, no one would notice.
x You find it hard to concentrate.
x You feel uncomfortable when you are in a position of leadership or authority.

感謝神，這些問題都讓我回想起神一直在帶我生命進步
有些 items，我發現以前我是有問題的，但現在已勝過了。

但仍有不少地方需要進步。
請你們也守望我。

延伸閱讀︰
》Wikipedia :: Self-esteem
》維基百科 :: 自尊
》Article - The Bible and Self-Esteem <- 很好的文章！

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隨攝︰Thailand Phitsanulok trip back

August 16, 2006

Photo: Me with a camera in thailand church

This is my fourth time on short term missions,
yet this is only my first time to lead a team
and the first time that I don’t wanna leave the place and miss the place so much.

I’ll write my testimonies later… need some time in it.

Our whole team have taken tons and tons of photos, will show you later.
But first let’s enjoy the following few photos taken by me, and among one taken by a Thai christian leader (Off).